George Zamfir. Blog.

sursa: flickr

Un articol gasit in Esquire: Some predictions history of the 21st century. Adica sa ne imaginam ca anul este 2072 si ne uitam la istoria acestui secol. Cred ca trebui sa abunzi de imaginatie si sa fii sinestezic sa poti crea “istoria de mai jos”.

APRIL 5, 2072: Animals are banned from the moon. House cats now kill more people than heart disease.

MAY 29, 2073: In a consolidated effort, America, China, Great Britain, and Russia declare war against the animals. It is decided that all military maneuvers will be conducted by robots.

NOV. 4, 2008: John McCain takes the U.S. presidency with 277 electoral votes, winning Ohio and Florida by less than 1 percent of the vote. American policy on Iraq does not change.

JULY 14, 2009: While the price of gas hits five dollars per gallon in most American cities, the value of the dollar becomes exactly half the value of the euro. World travel becomes a luxury available only to the rich; on the upside, Northwest Airlines goes bankrupt.

OCT. 4, 2010: Canada legalizes the cloning of livestock for human consumption.

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Even the Americans are fed up with their country Jeez, they’re now looking to marry Canadian ladies in order to obtain the Canadian citizenship. Just learn this dear American friend, end all your sentences with “eh“. Also, if you have any other questions consult this archive of questions first. Cheers, eh!

Like so many in the USA, I’ve become increasingly fed up with my country. The last 8 years have been a nightmare of perpetual motion. The presidential election is almost a month away, but let’s face it. If Bush’s cronies were able to set him up for two terms, then McCain and Palin are practically a shoo-in. When that happens (and it will, just you watch) I would rather be somewhere else. Like The Great White North!

Are you a lonely, possibly desperate Canadian woman aged 18-50? Tired of trying to find a good man among your flannel clad, Labatt’s drinking, moose hunting country men? Willing to take in an American who is fed up with his country? Then I’m the guy for you! Maybe you’re a bit overweight or suffer from “Lifelong Ugly Duckling” syndrome. I don’t care.

What I’m All Aboot:

* 32, tall, a bit pudgy around the middle, starting to go bald, but other than that it’s all good.
* IT Professional, skilled with computers, can fix yours.
* Will get whatever job(s) available to help support us.
* From Washington State, appreciates nature.
* Willing to learn French.
* Polite, working on being more humble.
* Hates littering.
* Will pet your cat(s)/dog(s) and tell you how cute it is.
* Enjoys Rush.
* Can fake an interest in hockey.
* Knows the first line to the Canadian National Anthem.
* Will do whatever it takes to get the fuck out of here.

What You’re All Aboot:

* Canadian.
* 18-50 year old female.
* Willing to marry me for citizenship.

So there you have it ladies! This is your chance to help your neighbors to the South. Get at it!

Found on craigslist.

Stii cum e, sa nu te pui cu Americanu’ ca are mintea odihnita

via deceblog.net

“Mai jos este transcrierea unei convorbiri radio dintre canadieni si americani. Din cate am inteles, faza de mai jos e cat se poate de pe bune, s-a intamplat in 1995, in largul coastei Newfoundland. Cum am gasit poza, asa v-o dau si voua. Enjoy”